Holy Hot Air Batman

You - could - not - make - it - up. Not content with bringing us the first electronic whoopee cushion, the owner of iFart, flatulence generator for the iPhone, is suing his nearest rival for... oh I can't be bothered to read any further. Life is too short. You read it. Anyway, one iPhone fart producer is suing another iPhone fart producer presumably because there are too many farts being produced on the iPhone and nobody, but nobody, has found a way to light them yet. This fart thing is getting out of hand or trousers or iPhone, I don't know which and frankly I don't care but I present it to you, who ever you are, for comment or despairing looks. You choose.

Whoopee Cushion For The Digital Age

Nothing, it seems, can dent the public's propensity for potty humour. There is, apparently, a rash of fart applications for the iPhone which seem dedicated to little more than making your shiny phaser-like multi-function computer-in-a-cigarette packet into nothing more than a £300 whoopee cushion. The Jesus phone which packs oodles of computing power into it's slim form, can pinpoint your position to within a few feet, post to your blog, text blah, blah, blah is also an amazing flatulence device and has 'em rolling in the aisles. Adolescence, it seems, does last forever.

I went to a Staus Quo concert last night and apart from the relentless volume of the Quo which, to be honest, I find difficult to bear these days (my ears are still ringing this morning which I suppose would be classed by the group as a result of sorts) the one sensual memory that remains is the periodic smell of flatulence from one anonymous audience member who let one go with monotonous regularity. At least the iPhone app hasn't yet achieved the goal of an aromatic application. If it ever does I for one will be staying away from public places forever in case phasers are, indeed, set to stun.

It may seem from the above post that I did not enjoy the Quo or their support act Manfred Mann's Earth Band. Nothing could be further from the truth. MMEBs vocalist, Noel McCalla,  is amazing and the Quo rocked... I could just have done without the aromatic accompaniment.

Sam Pepys for the Geek Generation

I will be the first to admit that since his appearance in QI on telly, my view of Mr Fry has been somewhat jaundiced. QI always seemed to me to be just a vehicle for Fry to appear to demonstrate his enormous intellect and personally I found the format indescribably tiresome. Having been a huge fan of his work in his Fry & Laurie and Blackadder days I was sad to turn my face from Stephen but hey, it's only television. What the hell there more enjoyable tripe on other channels. 

Imagine my surprise then, to discover not only his excellent series on America in which he travelled round that enormous continent in a London Black Cab exploring in words and pictures some of America's more arcane crevices, but also that he is a gadget Geek of the most informed and intelligent kind. 

The American show was a delight made all the more so by Stephen Fry's self-deprecating erudition and his abstention from the all-too-easy descent into mockery that parts of American culture seems to invite. The series was an exploration of a diverse country with huge amounts of admirable qualities almost childlike in their enthusiasm. It would have been simple to mock their excesses with a soi-distant British intellectual cynicism and Stephen, to his immense credit, resisted the temptation.

Next I come across this. One of the most sensible, accurate and balanced articles I've read about the smartphone revolution. It should be required reading for anyone interested in the technological evolution and it's effect on society. 

Joining the Mobile Revolution

Well, here I am blogging from an iPhone on the move. So now waiting world, you can be kept up to speed with my every trivial hiccup. You lucky people. Moving trash.


-- Post From My iPhone

Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative and...Fish!

I love this triumph of the human spirit in the face of disaster. No, not famine, flood or pestilence but the sad loss of one of lifes little gems - an iPhone. Having accidentally dropped his iPhone into a river this guy has turned his bricked phone into fishing lures in an attempt to hook another species on the Jesus phone. Nice one. Link.

iPhone, I Has One

I finally succumbed. I have put off my iPhone purchase and with an immense effort of will resisted buying the original version. Waited impatiently for the 3G version and snapped one up as soon as they hit the UK. 

I've been an Apple fan since 1987 when a magazine designer friend introduced me to a little ol' Macintosh SE and changed my computing experience for ever. Damn but they do just work. I've never wanted to tinker under the bonnet (hood) but I just wanted an easy access point to all that processing power and Apple has delivered that consistently for the last twenty years. (I left my new SE with my nine year-old daughter for twenty minutes and when I returned she was better with the GUI than I was. Today with eight self penned albums under her belt she's a confirmed Mac addict and all of her writing and most of her recording and production had been done on Macintosh computers. So neither of us needs much convincing when a new Apple product hits the streets.)

I'd toyed with the old iPhone in my local O2 store, loved the interface but put off and put off the purchase waiting for the 3G. I swore I wouldn't indulge in the kind of hysterical enthusiasm that greeted the original iteration in the US. No, I'm British, aloof, above all that early adopter stuff. Eventually when it arrived I could resist no longer. Now, a month and a half down the iPhone route and I couldn't be more pleased. Apple just seem to be able to make technology sexy. It's a beautifully simple interface which just does what you need it to do and then goes the extra distance to make the user experience a pleasure rather than a chore. The Apps Store is brilliant delivering apps to the phone quickly and automatically installing them and a good percentage of them are free. The phone connects and syncs with my desktop Mac seamlessly and without a hitch. The only issue I have at the moment is the battery life which only just lasts a day and I'm by no means a heavy user. But, hey, I'm an Apple fan and I can forgive the meagre battery life. For me the laid back user interface more than makes up for any shortcomings.

The only fly in my ointment is that Steve Jobs. He just too cool the bastard. He's about my age. He has squillions. He always looks relaxed (even if he isn't). He's been responsible for some of the most desirable techno products on the planet and to cap it all he has a more exotic illness than me. I'm just glad he lives on a different continent. I'd never get a shag.