A Bit Rich This

A study by the LibDems under FOI queries has found that councils regularly use powers meant for use in anti-terrorist measures to finger people for dog fouling, littering and suspected schools application fraudulence. This according to the LibDems is not what the increased powers were for. What about the Government using anti-terrorist legislation to freeze Icelandic assets after the collapse of the banks in Iceland. Correct use of powers? I think not.

Sanity At Last

Just when you think that the whole world has gone stark staring batshit crazy along come a story to restore your faith in the intrinsic sanity of the human race. Check this out, line two is the pertinent entry if you'll pardon the phrase.

Thinks: there may be horses at this party, I'll bring my 5' inflatable penis just in case. You can't be too careful.

Bummer of an Allergy Pandora

There's a Gary Larson cartoon featuring a deer with a huge target on it and it's partner saying 'Bummer of a birth mark Ralph'. This from the BBC website evoke a similar response. How cruel is this, a herbivore with a grass allergy. Intelligent design my arse.

Unf**kingbelievable

I'm a bloke but this report certainly gave me a scrotum tightening moment. Thinks: 'I'll attach this dildo to this reciprocating saw. What could possibly go wrong?

The Serpent Eats Itself

This report from the States suggests that AIG, the massive ailing insurance giant bailed out and essentially 80% owned by the American taxpayer, is suing er... the American Government aka the American taxpayer. AIG is suing for the return of tax paid on income with money it got from Uncle Sam and, if it wins, it will be paid by... Uncle Sam. Meanwhile the traders who finagled this giant into the shitter are expecting $160m in bonuses. Hmmm can anyone see who's the biggest looser here?

I'm reminded of Kurt Vonnegurt's three laws of life a) You cannot win b) You cannot break even c) You cannot get out of the game. Visionary or what?

The Writing's On The Wall

This from the Guardian shows what a ridiculous situation we have arrived at. Under this great Labour government our long-cherished freedoms are under constant threat as the fuzz get more and more sweeping powers unfettered, it seems, by any resemblance of control from central government. Still at least we're safe from the evil chalk-wielding hordes of terrorists thronging onto our streets encouraged, no doubt, by the new pinko Prez in the big white bog in Washington. Boy, do I feel safe!

PS - I notice that the Guardian section is called 'Comment is Free' - have they got a surprise in store.


-- Post From My iPhone

It'll end in tears

Just clocked this on the BBC website. Now , being a rat, I know a certain amount about the lure of the music and great great grandfather got his comeuppance in Hamlin after an unfortunate bit of crowd-surfing hero worship of the pied piper variety.

Otters following harmonica players? You just know it's not going to end well.


-- Post From My iPhone

Is This The Answer to the Bonus Problem

I see from many posts on teh internets that the AIG thing is raising temperatures all across the USA in much the same way that Fred Godwin raised 'em over here. It seems that in the USA at least congress has the power to impose small specialised taxes in unusual or extrraordniary circumstances. Now, it seems to me, that if you bail out a bank or a company to the tune of some $170m and when you suggest that lare bonuses are inappropriate in the circumstances and that bank/company's CEO essentially tells you to 'blow it out your ass' then the imposition of a tax on bonuses at, say, 95% is not unreasonable. Congress can do this apparently. Can the House of Commons?
Footnote: all our bile seems to be directed at Fred Godwin but all the Bank of Scotland are getting bonuses. How come we haven't heard about them?

Headlines - Again

Newsfeed readers are great if time consuming but inevitably as you're scanning the headlines your mind hyperjumps a couple of lines and you arrive at a place you never wanted to be.
This caught my eye on Digg and I immediately visualsed a necropolis-like bunk system. Who got the bottom bunk I wonder?

I Know Just How He Feels

This from the Timesoline about a chimp who gathers projectiles to hurl at the hairless apes that leer at him throughout the day. On the rare times I visit a zoo or wildlife park and observe the behaviour of the naked apes viewing I get the distinct impression that it's difficult to decide who's viewing whom and impossible to predict the intelligence level based on which side of the bars the viewers are.

Lord of Darkness' DJ found in Hants Pond

This just in (via BoingBoing) is proof, if proof were needed, that the woman arrested for throwing green slime on Peter Mandelson, Government Representative for the Dark Side, is entirely INNOCENT and was merely trying to prevent the contents of a leaking business secretary from burning a hole in the tarmac.

Surprised pond life enthusiasts from Hampshire, England found Mr Mandelson's evening wear covered in green slime in a pond whilst cleaning it. Interesting that Davos and Davros are not a million miles from one another semantically though philosohically they differ slightly.

Has the Lord of Darkness spung a leak? I think we need full disclosure and we need it now.

Disingenuous or What?

BBC reporter suggests that PM is reluctant to admit fault for credit crunch because it might be a trap. Well, duh! In todays nahnahnahnah politics opposition MPs are just waiting for such an admission as are the media. Fiddling while Rome burns or what?


-- Post From My iPhone

What Is This Thing Called Twitter?

I've had a Twitter account for seven or eight months and frankly I've hardly used it because I still don't get it. I'm told that until you've got x followers then no, you don't get it but in reality I have yet to see anything interesting on Twitter that stirs the vaguest interest in my jaded brain. Even Stephen Fry, who's blog I read avidly for its elegant use of language and ideas has failed to maintain my interest in Twitter for more than a couple of tweets and as for Jonathan Ross, well his many daily tweets are rapidly causing me to re-evaluate him. Twitter is, I believe, the digital equivalent of the Kings New Suit of Clothes and those that are twittering are desperately trying to justify the time investment by professing a relevance that just doesn't pertain. I'll persist for now but I'm waiting expectantly for some shining moment of revelation.

Stating the Obvious - Part 3

This from Reuters is number x million in the No Shit Sherlock Awards for 2009. Strangely if you teach toddlers to swim you reduce their risk of drowning. Who knew?