Penis Injury Shock Horror...

A report on the Reuters Health Information site highlights a terrifying new trend in toilet seat dynamics, the Heavy Toilet Seat. These socially irresponsible seats are reportedly causing a rise in penile crush injuries in young boys who fail to stay out of the way as the heavy seat descends and lands on their tender little todgers. This 'report' has arisen because a team of doctors from the Leighton Hospital in Crewe have reported four such injuries in the past several months, an effective doubling of this devastating event.
Now forgive me for rising to the bait but one just can't help it really which I suppose is the whole point. There are several issues evident here.
1.Perhaps evolution has just decided that those too stupid, even at such a young age, to move out of the way should have the instrument of their genetic perpetuation curtailed as it were.
2. Perhaps the residents of the Crewe area are producing toddlers so monstrously well endowed that toilet seat manufacturers will have to develop a special Crewe bog seat to allow for their enormous endowments.
3. Or maybe, just maybe the youngsters of the Crewe area have thought to themselves, in an idle moment, 'I wonder what would happen if I just put that there and....
Whatever is the reason for this quasi-epidemic it certainly gave me a laugh.