Horses For Courses

So Katie Price, our very own silicone valley doll, is fighting for the masses to subue the rampant class prejudice in the horsey world. I don't think so. Katie is doing what she does so very well, keeping herself in the headlines of the twittering tabloids who seem to have a never ending appetite for the minutiae of her glittering lifestyle. I happen to think that Jordan, for it is she, is a genius at manipulating the media and, frankly, deserves every reward that ensues from satiating the great British public's need for gossip/sleaze/drivel. What I wont stand for, however, is that she's engaged in some sort of class war in which she represents Joe Public in an uphill struggle against the aristocratic equestrian set who would like to ostracise her on the grounds that she's 'not one of us'. Having worked in the horse world for the thick end of thirty-five years, I know that it's peopled by everyone from our own dear Queen to those who are just one generation from the travelling community, indeed the travelling community have a reverance for good horse flesh that would make the Queen envious. So Jordan's class war is just what it is a PR exercise. Let's not paint her as anything other than what she is - a damn fine business woman with considerable assets not least of which is her sharp brain and PR genius.

Child Pornographers Really?

It seem that a fifteen year old from Newark, Ohio might be labelled as a sex-offender for sending naked cellphone pictures of herself to other minors (presumably her friends). If convicted all sorts of doom and destruction will be visitied on her for at least ten years and she'll be branded as a child pornographer. For goodness sake, we all had our naked moments in childhood and early adolescence didn't we? No? That's just me then.
I'll get me coat. Link

Gordon's Sticky Fingers

Yeah, yeah I know it's not spelled the same but how the hell would I get the headline if accuracy was my main concern? Michael Douglas' role in Wall Street seems likely to have little in common with the green lizards you see walking up walls in your cheap Spanish condo apart from the reptilian stare, but gekkos are some cool little dudes with amazingly sticky fingers (not so unlike Wall Streets finest after all then) and now, it seems, scientists have used the secret of the tacky lizards to formulate a substance that is three times stickier than any other glue. That is some sticky shit!
I might just have to blag some of this stuff so that I can hang onto what little money I'll have left after paying for our bankers bonuses. Link

More Power to the Whipmeister

So Max Mosley is taking the fight to the gutter press by way of the European Court of Human Rights. Well good on him. It's about time the disingenuous dickwads at the News of the World and similar sleazoid trash got themselves hosed by someone and if that someone needs to wield the big stick why should it not be Max who enjoys a bit of stick-wielding. Mosley's family have been put through the wringer simply so the reptiles could embarrass him and as he pointed out this is a weekly event in which some poor sod's life is microscopically disected in public with little or no thought given to the effect it has. It's a sad comment on Britain that these comics sift through the septic tank of our sad little world and see how many of the big lumps they can get on the front page. However, parasitic as they may be hooked on in the large intestines of society, it's the buyers of these papers who are the real coprophagics.

Singer and Songwriters Myopic? Discuss

Every week some smug troubador dribbles on about how hard life is for a struggling artist and how they're going to sell straight to their fanbase and cut out the Big Bad Wolf of the music industry. Burbles on about how the record company don't understand them and don't increase their revenues despite the fact that digital distribution must have reduced costs significantly. So they're going to fire up a website and sell their 'art' to the fans direct. Well how the fuck do they think they got the fans in the first place. They got 'em because some music industry type bunged a five of six figure advertising and PR budget at a fledgling popster or popstrelle and propelled them, by the power of money, into the public's consciousness. Last week it was Kate Nash and some other johnny/jackie-come-latelys who frankly wouldn't have been given the time of day without some PR person pumping their story to the heavens. There is no doubt that the music industry as a colony (bit like slime molds but with less integrity) is oozing about trying to plot a path through the new paradigm or even trying to define the paradigm which is still shifting on a weekly, if not daily, basis but there's still things they do quite well and blowing up the skirts of the press in general and the music press in particular is one of them. Selling the back story to infiltrate the artist into a jaded buyers short little span of attention is one thing they do very well indeed. They've kept the interest in Coldplay going while they whined their way through three cloned albums before making a reasonably interesting fourth. They've miraculously maintained radio interest in Dido, whose lastest single is getting amazing amounts of airplay despite sounding identical to virtually all of her first album. (Jesus H Christ talk about music to knit entrails to). So before these mediocre talents throw themselves at the mercy of the internet downloader they should consider just how it was their moderate accomplishments clawed their respective ways to the top of the playlists cos it sure as hell wasn't entirely on merit

From the Annals of 'Ya Couldn't Make It Up'

It seems that the Welsh and their sheep antics just wont go away. Now comes a report of the North Wales Police Force tasering a runaway ram on the A55 near Bodelwyddan last week. Since most of the traffic seems to have stopped and some of the onlookers, showing a deal more sense than the local plod, had tried to herd said ovine off the road and back to the safety of his paddock there wasn't much, if any, danger to the public. Tasering the poor beast seems significantly OTT. But you know boys and their toys. Once they've got 'em they just can't resist playing with 'em.

High Profile Victim of The Parasites of Fleet Street

There's nothing the public seems to love more than watching a high profile talent implode in public. Recent reports suggest that Amy Winehouse is in a suicidal state and threateneing to end it all. Anyone who believes that this girl is not a major talent need only listen to her recorded output. Anyone who believes that she is not seriously disturbed need only watch one of her recent live performances. The contrast tells its own story.

What her handlers think they are doing shoving her on stage in the state she's been in on her last few outings is anybody's guess but they're certainly not looking after her welfare. This is a huge shame and I can only hope she has finally reached a tipping point from whence the only way is up. We can't afford to loose talent like this through carelessness.